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Who's filling shoes like these anymore?'s Journal

Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

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  2007.12.19  18.57


Everyday, art is becoming a larger part of my life.

 
 


 
  2007.01.28  01.22


My new cat, Eliot.Collapse )

 
 


 
  2006.12.14  09.55
arrrtttt

Some of the things I have worked on this semester.

Final drawing project, self design. Conte and charcoal.
the restCollapse )

 
 


 
  2006.09.18  15.02


The seacoast is weird. It's so beautiful and creative in a way, at least compared to other places I have lived. That's really not saying much though. Still, I can't see myself dying here. I think I may go check out Seattle within the next year. Seattle, Chicago, and Philly still interest me. I think I missed the days of Dover, NH. My luck I suppose.

For the first time in my life I really don't love school. It's a strange feeling. I feel future-less.

My art classes haven't been inspiring...my English classes are decent.


The Wrens were awful..third time I have seen them, only time I have been disappointed.

Coming up..The Long Winters...Possibly Built to Spill...maybe some others.

Working on the second Harry Potter and a book for school called The Shipping News. Love them both.

Yep, that's it. Oh and Joel is almost 21!

 
 


 
  2006.09.05  00.56


Life has been so good and so hectic. I have been training to be a waitress and still working 5 or 6 days a week as a host...also school 4 days a week...and yeah, homework. Needless to say i don't have much time to breathe. I know I got a little bit of shit for having a life this summer but I am SOOO glad I had a wonderfully busy summer 'cause social life is going to be a lot slower now.

I'm actually in a relationship...first time since Jake...It is so weird to be with someone for so long and get so used to things, good and bad, only to realize that it will never work. It's not a bad experience it just takes getting used to the fact that I'm in something new and completely different than my past.

I remember when I said I was broke in the past...yeah I didn't realize how much more BROKE I could really be until now. I have picked up so much work though, and it will get better eventually, but right now my money situation is sooooo bad.

Summary...life consists of small and amazing moments with new and old friends....and the usual ass busting at work and school. I could have so much to complain about if I wanted to, little things that I miss or wish I could do...but really...I am fucking blessed.

 
 


 
  2006.07.03  02.02


I know I make nothing into something a lot...but I feel so insane lately. Still, things are great, I'm moving to Dover and it seems surreal. It's not a big deal really, I will be 40 minutes away from Manchester and still around, but of course the second you go to move you start meeting amazing people in the area. That's life I suppose. Either way I know I will love Dover and will have two cities to live in.

But the truth of it all is...I have no idea what the fuck I am doing.

 
 


 
  2006.06.20  16.27


Things are very good.

I have new glasses.Collapse ) Ordered them 4 days before I stepped on my old ones and snapped them in half. Lucccckkk.

I have gotten tired of worrying about what anyone thinks or putting everything before me so excuse me if I have been pretty selfish these days..but it's about time I am. I just want to look back at this summer and know that I did what I wanted to do and I enjoyed every minute of my life. I haven't enjoyed a summer since I was a child. That whole "you only live once" motto could apply here if it wasn't for the fact that I hate cliches.

I think after being in such a long relationship I see that for a while I was just letting life drift bye and getting stuck in a convenient and comfortable situation, but not a happy one. So here is to happiness I suppose.

Six Flags plans need to be made, seriously, we need to start looking at datessssss. Beer Pong tournamenting on the 3rd is still on and fireworks on the 4th, but what else are we all doing this summer? Lets get on this 'cause I've been missing some people.

 
 


 
  2006.06.05  17.31


One of these days I'll stay home.

Went to Portland randomly last Wednesday. I have been getting sleep it's just been non stop in between work and sleep I suppose.

Been out in Portsmouth with Aaron all weekend. Burrito fest was delicious and fun as hell. The whole weekend was great. Missed Triple Corpse Horror but saw the band and hung for a while in Dover. Headed to Strangebrew and ended up giving a quasi-stranger my number, which is weird. The chances of a call are slim to none but I am glad that I had the balls to do it.

Now heading out to Boston to see if anyone is selling Radiohead tickets for tonights shows. If not we'll find something else to do.

This Summer has been fantastic so far. I miss you Ella, Kyle, Kara, Jesse, Matt, Jenn, etc etc etc I miss you all and plans need to be made. Anyone up for Six Flags at some point this summer?

 
 


 
  2006.05.30  18.15


Back from South Carolina. Pictures soon.

Black Bike Weekend is fucking crazy. Highlights of the weekend include drunkenly serenading the girls and Jermaine by singing All4One's "I Swear" ACROSS a bar, LOTSSS of walking with hundreds of people in the street all weekend, being called a "Snowflake", Rhi and I getting shot up god knows how many hundreds of feet into the air by a gigantic sling shot, and almost getting attacked by a jellyfish..even if it was dead...it's still an attack. It was good to get away.

Next year we're making it a longer trip and stopping in a couple other cities.

Still looking for a job in Dover...that's about it so far.

 
 


 
  2006.05.25  17.07


I'm driving down with friends to Myrtle Beach, SC tonight and I'll be back on Monday. Last minute for me to join them. See everyone when I get back, hope you all have good weekends <3

 
 


 
  2006.05.21  17.12


It's weird I didn't think I'd like bars. Yet I have been living at them almost every night. Eh, it'll slow down eventually.

Been out with Richella and friends in Manchester a lot. Portsmouth last night was tons of fun as well. It's such a cute town. I hope when I move I can find a place with Joel that we can afford in Portsmouth. Either way we'll be close, if nothing else.

It's weird that I don't have to worry about school for a while, I start to panic on the weekends like I normally do and then remember I don't have any homework.

Fall semester this year will be amazing, Intermediate Drawing, Introductory Painting and a couple English classes. Dream come fucking true compared to the Accounting bullshit I have been used to.

For once in my life I really don't know what I want in basically all aspects of my life...and that's completely okay with me.

 
 


 
  2006.05.07  00.34


I guess I have always envied people who could spew pseudo-intellectual philosophical rants. Now I realize that most of that is just confusion. I have plenty of confusion to offer.

 
 


 
  2006.04.30  19.53




guys I have a problem..Collapse )

 
 


 
  2006.04.25  22.58
All I will receive from Managerial Accounting.

"There are no variable costs, except for maybe the peanuts. I don't think they even do THAT anymore."
Everytime they asked if he wanted the peanuts he politely refused them.
"I can't believe they stopped with the peanuts."

 
 


 
  2006.04.18  13.09


My car broke. For good. I'll have this oneCollapse ) by Saturday if not sooner. If it's not worth the fucking 5 years of car payments someone is going to be killed.

On another note I'm also moving to Dover/Durham area by this Fall, if not this Summer. I'm changing my major from either Business to English or French or some equally useless major hah. I would rather learn about things I enjoy than drag myself through another accounting class. I'll minor in Studio Art just to keep up with drawing.

Hopefully I will keep the friends I love around here, although I already know some of you won't care enough. I figure I drive my ass all over this state to see people anyway, so that won't be changing. I know I will continue to come towards Manchester a bunch too. I will have an apartment, it is much easier to find roommates around there, so I won't be in a lame dorm situation. Hopefully I won't have to deal with too many Dave Matthews-listening-hippie-drunk-college-kids. UNH Manchester isn't offering enough so I have no choice.

Also...I need more summer plans, this one needs to be good.

ANNNND that's about it

 
 


 
  2006.03.28  21.17







So this isn't an excuse to show off my ta-tas. I wouldn't even bother with an excuse. This is basically the only thing in my life that's new right now, besides a few people. The actual artwork is from Superchunk's Cup of Sand but that's hardly why I got it, although it is an added bonus I suppose. The bird represents my father and the target is my heart. By the end of the summer I hope to have the other three birds flying towards my heart (the rest of my family that is). One part of the target looks faded but it's actually the watercolor effect that is on the cd. I'm not sure how I feel about that part yet. Overall, Dug Mendoza did a great job, and I'm pleased.

Life has been what I've been calling "mushy." Weekdays are blending into each other. Work. School. Work. Basing my happiness on the number of days, minutes, seconds, until Friday.

I'm thinking about Durham for the Fall or Spring. It's only a thought right now, but it needs to be a quick one if I want it to happen. I'd like to move out this month but no potential roommates for April yet. We'll see.

 
 


 
  2006.03.15  16.27


Boston was fun. We walked for 3 or 4 hours. It is pretty incredible how easy it is to ignore that you've walked a good amount of miles when you have people to laugh with and things to look at. Walking around Bedford won't be nearly the same.

I'd like some new music to listen to...Maybe something along the lines of Built to Spill/Neutral Milk/Superchunk? All very different bands, yes, but you get the general concept here. Any suggestions? Also, suggestions for websites with RSS feeds dealing with Indie rock news (no, not pitchfork)..or any weird/interesting scientific news...anything that's fun to look through or enjoyable to learn about. Basically, I'm tired of sitting online and not learning a damn thing. Thanks to any help.

 
 


 
  2006.03.12  21.03


Someone asked me what I wanted this weekend. The sad part is, I didn't even know how to begin to answer. Questions like that should be convenient, on the tip of your tongue. But there is so much that I want I wouldn't even know where to begin. I couldn't think of a single thing because they were all mixed into my confused little head into a jumble of anxiety. I need to pick those pieces apart and start working on them one by one.


Things are pretty good.
Work on my chest piece in a couple weeks.
Spring break for the week so I'm just working half days or not at all. It'll be nice!

 
 


 
  2006.03.08  23.34


If we wanted someone passive we'd date a young girl, if we wanted someone aggressive we'd date a rapist......somewhere in between rapist and young girl we're happy.

 
 


 
  2006.03.05  12.41


This weekend was full of Boston and shows.

Friday I went down to Regeneration Tattoos/Records and saw the Koffin Kats. They were very suprisingly INCREDIBLE. I'd actually like to buy their cd, when I get some money. I stayed over at Andy's friends apartment, they were all really nice, I had a lot of fun. Went home early the next morning.

Picked up Alex later, went to Ted Leo at the Paradise. One of the most amazing shows I've ever been too. They did a great job, so did The Duke Spirit. Got home at 230ish.

Good weekend overall. The only bad part was getting lost so many times (yeah..both times) and finding parking in Boston. But really, Boston always ends up being worth the stress.

 
 


 
  2006.03.01  21.49




Finally I have finished this damn drawing! I did it for a coworker, it's her children. The light is reflecting off some of the black so it's darker in the hair and other features that look lighter. I'm mildly happy with it. I need to keep up with drawing more or else I won't improve, and I'd really like to.

annnnnnd a few craftsCollapse )

 
 


 
  2006.02.27  19.57
So I was driving home thinking about slightly recent events....

I don't feel like I need to become a dishonest person just because a good amount of people shut down at the first sign of honesty. I usually like to lay everything out there at some point, I can't wait around for someone to decide it's important to talk about. If it's important to me, it's going to be brought up, I would hope someone else would do the same.

That said, I do come across too strong sometimes, a little bit of brutal honesty DOES hurt I've found out, so I AM sorry if I've upset people, sometimes I really do need to think more before I talk.

In the end though, there is some underlying meaning or confusement that I need cleared up in these situations. In my recent past (I'm talking past 6 months or so) I've discovered that a lot of people just aren't WILLING to clear things up.

This just isn't happening anymore.

You can make excuses for your actions as much as you'd like.. but if you are NOT being a good friend or you CANNOT tell me where we stand in a relationship (or where we DON'T stand for that matter) just get out of my life. If people decide to grow up, they're almost always welcome back in it.

And if anyone would like to throw me some brutal honesty or gentle honesty (hah) here's your chance I suppose.

 
 


 
  2006.02.23  19.35




New dress. It's more yellow than expected but it's alright I suppose.
I'm listening to Cat Power's cover of Wonderwall. I enjoy it.
Life has been like a repeating car crash lately so ignore me if I have acted stranger than usual.
Time to paint and read!


 
 


 
  2006.02.21  15.46
some thoughts

The original plan was to own a tattoo shop with a record store inside of it. I don't want to deal with used cds and I probably would have to, so a new plan may be forming. What do you all think about vinyl/books/coffee/clothing/some or all of these with the tattoo shop? I don't know. If a record store is do-able in a couple years then that will be the plan, but I need back up options just in case it's not going to be profitable.

Also...I need some more time for myself. EVERYDAY is something with friends AND school AND work I'm going CRAZY. I have fun, but I don't want to snap.

Still...this "being independent and without a boyfriend" thing has been fun, really it has, but it's starting to get old.

Not enough time

 
 


 
  2006.02.08  19.54


These last few weeks have been a little crazy. School and work have been keeping me busy.

Went to the aquarium with my sister, Kaegan, and Kara one Sunday. Spent a lot of time at Aarons house with Kara recently and had a bunch of drunken fun with a bunch of friends that came over Friday while the parents were out of town. Saturday Kara, Aaron, Matt, and I went to Buffalo NY and then up to Niagara Falls (Canadian side) overnight. It was fantastic.

Saw Sigur Ros on Monday with Richella in Portland. Amazing show, the visual aspect of it went perfect with the music. Portland is adorable and Richella and I are planning another trip up in a couple weeks.

Lots of aimless driving to Maine, Mass and around this glorious state with Alex. The bowling and the board game playing have also been divine hah.

Glad to finally be HOME! I absolutely hate posts like this.



Pictures of a couple nightsCollapse )

 
 


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